The Flu-A Viral Pansy

I’d forgotten how rough the flu can be, as it’s been about eight years since I’ve had it. Simply put: The Flu is a dick. Though it only lasts a few days, it causes horrible misery, and really cramps your social life. And it’s totally pointless. I mean, what does this virus hope to accomplish? AIDS kills people. It has an agenda. Once you’re infected, it will never leave you until it has done its job.

Not the Flu. This pussy wimps out after a few days. Ok, if you’re 80 years old it could be fatal, but so what? That’s nothing for a virus to brag about. I wonder what AIDS and his homey Ebola think of the Flu? They probably kicked his ass in high school. The only thing the Flu deserves props for is longevity. I’m pretty sure he has been around as long as man. But he’s still a punk.

To prove my point, Monday at work, tell a co-worker that you have AIDS. Wait a moment, gauge their reaction, then say you were mistaken, you have the Flu. I bet they won’t be as concerned. They’ll just be miffed that you’ve been dipping your hands in the donut box all morning.

JH