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Yay Vicodin, Boo Child Killers

I had four wisdom teeth removed this morning. Despite all the hype around this procedure, it was relatively fast and easy and I’m barely in pain. Of course, that could be because of the Vicodin they prescribed me. This stuff rocks, I can see why people get addicted to it. I may have to go back and have some more teeth yanked just to get another bottle. The best thing about the surgery? I can close my mouth now-the 5 mm gap between my teeth is now a little more than 1 mm. Studies have shown that women are attracted to men who can close their mouth.

Attention News Media: Calm your ass down. This JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect is full of it. Next time, before you go apesh*t, check to see if his story doesn’t have HUGE GAPING HOLES. The Boulder Police Department may want to heed this advice as well.

Gotta go; I just got a paper cut and I may need some Vicodin to tackle this massive pain. Pray for me.



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