web analytics



Alien Romance Novel

I don’t have much to say today, so I’m posting a short bit I wrote in August 2004. I had completely forgotten about it until I stumbled across it by accident today. It’s a spoof on those crappy romance novels that are basically porno for chicks. Hope you enjoy.

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 9 of “The Love Eaters”

Shanak leaned against the wall, trying to compose herself. Everything had happened so fast. Her hearts pounded inside her chest, causing her to ooze from the mouth.
“Your mouth froth…is refreshing,” Nonon remarked, as he lit the fire with a flick of his tongue.

She chuckled. When was the last time her life completion partner had done that for her?

Still, as cruel as Rakaaaaaabil had been to her, she couldn’t help feeling bad about staying with Nonon. Why, if anyone ever found out, she’d never be able to live with herself. Especially after the Council dismembered her.

Nonon sensed her anguish, and made his way over to her. He always made her feel nervous, but it was a good nervous. She felt young again, and his touch brought back memories of forbidden love, and smoking knosh behind her father’s back. She closed her eyes and felt her body tingle as he brushed her cheek with his sharp claw. Goosebumps peppered her skin as she let out a moan, and probably some more froth.

“Don’t be nervous, my sweet Shanak, there is nothing to be afraid of,” Nonon assured her. “Your partner is far away, harvesting puppies on Xeor. We are all alone.”

With this she lost all control, and she pushed him back onto the bed. They exchanged smiles as his love rod filled to capacity. She slipped out of her nightwear and lowered herself down on him. The moonlight cloaked his body in a brilliant red glow, and his muscular tentacles gleamed in the night.

She had never spawned like this before. She felt his love rod thrust repeatedly inside of her poontonk, while his tentacles fondled her seven holes, and even toyed with the taboo eighth hole. The bed rocked back and forth with their bodies, and she screamed Nonon’s nickname, “Bob,” each time he pounded her.

Finally, she felt him shudder as his love rod released his spawn juice inside of her. She let out a sad sigh. Despite momentous research efforts, scientists still were unable to locate the female climax region.

“Good thing I was wearing a fluid retaining device,” he smirked.

“You were so great,” she said. She then threw up on him, as was tradition. She tickled his tummy, and then rested her head on his balls. Just as she felt herself falling into a deep, relaxing sleep, she heard something outside.

“What is that?” she whispered. But before he could respond, the futuristic, shiny door burst open.

It was Rakaaaaaabil.

“So, the rumors are true!” he exclaimed. He glanced at Nonon. “And you, how could you? My own mother!”

Shanak was shocked. “Your…mother?”


Renoxikela Blaben was born on the 5 of Jar, 1424595. He started his career by writing futuristic tales of fair-skinned creatures who walked on two legs and who had hairy reproduction areas. These tales proved too extreme for audiences, and he moved into erotic fiction. He currently resides on Gnak with his wife and 8.5 children.



Permanent link to this article: http://thecomedypage.com/?p=74