Continue reading »]]> I got pulled over again!! I ran out after dinner to get gas, and some douche bag cop was hiding next to a stop sign with his lights off (it was dark), and he stopped me for not coming to a “complete stop.” Mind you, this is a back road, and no one stops for this sign, and even though I didn’t come to a textbook stop (i.e. slam on your brakes, look around, count to 45, read the newspaper, hug a baby, then continue driving) I came pretty damn close. Thankfully my mad cop deflecting skills turned a potentially bad situation into a humorous story. It went something like this:

“Evening sir. Know why I pulled you over?”	“No. Isn’t it your job to know that?”	“…I know why I pulled you over, I was wondering if you knew why.”	“Nope. I’m clueless, Porky.”
“Well, see that stop sign back there, with the young Negro girl hanging from it? You failed to obey it.”	“You expect me to take orders from an inanimate object? Excuse me for having a sack of manhood between my legs. Changed your tampon lately, officer?”	“It’s the law, son. I’m going to have to write you a ticket.”	“Going to have to catch me first, asshole!”
VROOOOOMMMM…	(seconds later)	“Now you can add a speeding ticket to your collection!”	(blows officer)

Good thing I think quick on my feet!

JH